faith, inspiration, life, music, scripture

Awake My Soul

It’s a frigid January morning as the alarm blares out an unwelcome tune to wake me. I begrudgingly turn over, hit the snooze and realize that my head is pounding… again. Kari is the only one that has to be up for school; the older two are exempt from mid-terms so they get to stay home. Mind you, they have been off all week thus far due to snow days. They won’t have to return until Tuesday.

Since my head is compromising my state of awakening, I have a brief conversation with myself to get out of bed to wake Kari, but no, it is too warm under the covers, but if I don’t wake her now, she will be late. Get up. Ok, ok… I’m going. But I don’t like it.

Quietly, I tiptoe over to Kari’s room as to not wake the others. I whisper to her that I am not getting up to see her and her dad off for the day because my head is hurting too much. Just get up, get ready, kiss me and wake daddy up -asleep on the couch. She groans.

“And don’t forget to put deodorant on!,” I emphatically whisper as I close her door.

I tell her I love her and walk back to my room, happily crawling under the covers and cursing this headache that hasn’t left me alone for quite awhile now. The cat jumps in bed with me and curls up as tight as she can against me. My eyes burn even though they are closed. They burn. I start sneezing. The pressure in my head is too much. Make it stop. The pounding is just. too. much. I can tell my sinuses are swollen. They ache too. I go to turn over and my neck cramps telling me that it was not a happy camper last night and that I do, in fact, need to get a new pillow very soon.

I hear Kari getting ready for school. I toss and turn trying to get back to sleep. Ugh, I have to go to the bathroom. I am not ready to leave the comfort of my bed. It is so cold, my head hurts and I just don’t wanna. (You read that in a total whiny 3 year old tone, didn’t you? Good.)

But I tiptoe down the stairs. Kari says, “I thought you weren’t getting up?”  “Bathroom.” I said.  Brent comes out of the bathroom and immediately says, “I thought you weren’t getting up?” I sigh and mutter again, “Bathroom.”

I didn’t want to get up, but I believe God was nudging me ever so gently to get up because He knows just how much I don’t like to start my day without seeing my loved ones off.

Kisses. Hugs. “I love you. Have a great day and be careful. Make a difference!”

Kari and Brent take turns scraping the ice off the windshield as I make a groovy little heart on the iced up window. I take a photo. Hey, it’s what I do! I smile when I see a smile come alive on Kari’s face as she braves the freezing cold with her dad. Had I chosen to stay in my bed, I would have missed that simple little scene. It was quite lovely. Heartwarming. They drive away to start their day. I contemplated going back to bed. I really did. So tempting. But I heard a whisper that said,

“Cherish this quiet time with me this morning. Let me awake your soul.” 

When Father speaks, I listen. 

I went out to the sweet little black appliance… my new love… my Keurig and plopped in an Breakfast Blend light roast coffee k-cup. Oh it smells divine. I have been drinking more hot tea than coffee lately so this was a nice and pleasant change to my senses. Brent was a sweetheart and brought home some White Chocolate Mocha creamer (I die!). I stir and inhale the goodness. Perfect.

tumblr_mk2kxyz89e1rootoqo1_500My head is still hurting. The pressure is threatening to paralyze me today. The aches and pains are trying to deny me a great day. It was successful in that I couldn’t attend Bible Study last night. But I am refusing everything that is not from my God. I will not let it all win today. God is much bigger than all these ailments that try to stop me from living my life. I face pain daily (fibromyalgia. arthritis, obesity & messed up body from a severe auto accident when I was 20). I have headaches nearly every day. The insanely frigid weather is vying for my weak spots, trying to take me down. I am refusing. Jesus never gives up on me, why should I?

The heat is running overtime and I am certain the bill will be astronomical as it always is in the winter. We need replacement windows badly. It is set on 74*. Oh, wait, it wasn’t! It was only 70*!! No wonder I am frozen! Turn it back up! These old single pane windows remind us just how cold it is outside. I grab my soft and cozy blanket, sit down at the computer, ignoring my headache and put my earphones in and let Chris Tomlin sing to me:

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Then He said to me,
Prophesy to these bones and say to them,
Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,
I will make breath into you,
And you will come to life.
So I prophesied as I was commanded.
As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,
And the bones came together, bone to bone.
And I looked, and tendons and the flesh appeared on them,
And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to the breath,
Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,
Come from four winds, oh breath, and breathe.

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Yeah, I’m not alone, I realize
I breathe out, I come alive
Your word gives life to my dry bones
Your breath tells death it can ride on
Awake me, make me a living stone,
A testament to your throne, I
I’m nothing without you, I’m on my own
The only one who satisfies my soul

The song ends. I play it again. Then let Chris’s album play on and on. I sit with my eyes closed, letting my God fuel me and awake my soul. “I Lift My Hands” comes on. A lullaby really. I am moved by His mercy. Tears flow. And without knowing, I do it. I lift my hands. The Holy Spirit is working in me. I am listening. He says, “Be Still.” I listen. Let faith arise. I cry.

It is a good cry. My focus is on my faithful Father. All pain is withering away. I let God fill those weaknesses with His strength. I am reminded, as I sit quietly with Him this morning, that He loves me. He comforts me. He heals me. When I lay my eyes upon Him, nothing can steal my attention. Nothing.

Oh Jesus, I need you so. I cry out to you in love. I cry out to you with a humble heart and gladly give myself to You. Jesus, you are my savior, my fortress, my saving grace. You give me breath in order to awake my soul. I am so glad You are the light. My light.

Friends, I want to encourage you to live fully in the grace of Jesus Christ who shed His blood for us. Walk in His presence and let Him speak to you. Oh how He wants you to listen to His voice. Feel His glorious love for you. Nothing earthly can compare to the love of Jesus. No amount of money, not the size of your house or the prettiness of your car. No promise of man, no designer label. Jesus is King of Kings, King of all the earth. His promise is greater than anything else you can imagine. Take hold of it, friends. Let Him into your heart and watch how great He works through you… IN you.

I pray for your strength, dear friends. I pray that Father will restore your brokenness and awaken your soul to purpose. I pray that you will not walk alone in times of trouble and will always have someone to celebrate with the joys of life. I pray that you are safe and comforted when confused and a light is upon your path when all you see before you is darkness. Let Him be your Lamp. I pray that you settle inside your worth and give it a foundation of strength and build it up so no one can tear it down. You are worthy. Jesus is worthy of it all. Inhale the spirit of God.

Scripture for your day:
‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
– Isaiah 41:10

I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
-Isaiah 61:10

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength. – 1 Timothy 4:17

trust-in-the-lord

My headache is gone.

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